Great Uncle Augie "Part of the Greatest Generation"
Breakfast with Uncle Augie | By: Danny Mishek (Great Nephew) | Des Moines, IA | May 13, 2023
I was able to get the stars aligned to watch two of my college kids compete in the same event in Des Moines, Iowa. With my work schedule and their golf schedules, this has only happened one previous time. I drove down Tuesday night to take Monterey and her friend Ruthie out for dinner, as Colten would not make the trip to Des Moines with the team until Wednesday morning. By the time I arrived in Des Moines around 7:45 pm, both kids confirmed that they would tee off around 11 am the next day. That would free up my morning. I knew I could catch up on work emails and make a few calls, but I thought I would reach out to my Great Uncle Augie to see if he could join me for breakfast on short notice.
It had been
close to a year since I had last seen him and before that, probably another 4
years. He is the last surviving sibling of my beloved Grandma Elva. I thought
it would be good to buy him breakfast as I know he is 90 and living alone. My
memories of him always make me smile. He was an attorney who practiced in Des
Moines and in the small city of Colfax, Iowa, about 30 minutes outside of Des
Moines. The city of Colfax is a pleasant blend of town and country. Uncle Augie
was a large, quick-witted man with a deep and loud voice. He never broke any
land speed records while spinning yarn or telling a joke. His laugh was two-pitched as it went from high to low and his eyes would close as he would gather
his breath.
I called the
home line, and he answered on the 3rd ring, “Well hello”, as if he
knew I would be calling. I believe I have only called him two other times in my
life. I explained that I had an open morning and asked if he could join me for
breakfast tomorrow. He said that would be great and that he had a nice little
place next to his home. I asked the name of it, but he could not remember. He assured
me that he could guide us there. We agreed to meet at 9 am at his house and I
hung up the phone.
Picking Up Augie
I arrived at
8:55 am and he was waiting for me in the porch area. He greeted me at the door
with papers in his hand and excuses why the house was so messy. He stated he
was finally retired and after 50 years he was trying to get organized with all
the family history. He also explained that he was not dressed appropriately and
was dirty because he had been doing yard work before I arrived (trimming trees
and spring clean-up). He had stained black pants on that were cinched with an
old, oversized belt. He had a dark “Mr. Rogers” sweater on that you could tell
doubles as his jacket for ease of getting on. He was shaven but had a few
elusive face weeds that reminded me of his 90 years of age and the struggles of
balancing vision, hygiene and simply giving a shit. I was just impressed that
he was present. I buckled him into the front passenger seat and asked him if he
still wanted to go to the little place next to his house. I said the only place
nearby that I knew of was Perkins. He said that was the place and said they do
a nice job there. He asked if we had any of those in Minnesota. I smiled and
said that we have one about 5 miles from my house. For people keeping score at
home, there are an estimated 265 Perkins in North America and 48 stores in
Minnesota alone. Not quite the image of a “nice little place next to my house”.
As we
entered the restaurant, he held the door open for a woman with a walker. At
this point I was wondering if we were going to be ordering from the breakfast
menu or the lunch menu. It was a leisurely procession to the feed trough. The hostess
asked if we wanted a table or a booth. Uncle Augie declared we would like a
booth, a window, and good light. He looked at me and stated that I had some
work to do as he shook the white papers that he still carried in his hand. I
raised the window shade in the booth and we pre-ordered coffee.
Work to Do
Before we
ordered our breakfast, he slid the two pieces of paper to me. He requested that
I write my children’s full names, dates of birth, the colleges that they attend
and the cities where they reside. He wanted me to write it all down on a larger
spaced paper so that he could re-write it on his original sheet that was
pre-filled in with other information and statistics. He also asked me to fill
out my brother’s children’s names as he was behind on those, as well.
Once we
completed the family tree task, we discussed the weather, as it was 86 degrees
that day. That led to discussions on travel and what the kids hoped to do
within their majors. After these topics were exhausted, Uncle Augie went on a
30-minute excursion discussing his past, his family history and other tales
that were currently stored in his brain categorized by the Dewey Decimal
System. I realized that my role during this breakfast was to listen and to take
in the moment. I basically had a front row seat with a member from The Greatest
Generation, that Tom Brokaw wrote about in his 2001 novel. Here are his
stories.
Great Uncle Augie Unplugged
Uncle Augie talked
about his family and how his mother had died when he was only two years old. He
remembers sleeping with his father until he was ten, because his four sisters
each shared the additional two beds in the other bedroom. Back then it was
quite typical to share beds and bedrooms as there was not a lot of money for
larger homes and amenities.
The house
was rented for $15 a month and his father, also named August, was paid $10 a
week at his second job. His main job of running the general store was not
sufficient as the farmers could not pay their bills. This put great strain on
the family finances. His father’s joy outside of working was playing the
trumpet in a Polka Band on the weekends. He was paid $5 a night for his talented
contribution.
He repeated
throughout breakfast how unselfish his father was. He put the family needs
first. Years later, when one of his sisters became a teacher, she gave her
entire first year’s wages back to their father because of the sacrifices he had
made for them. This was an honorable way to acknowledge everything he had given
up ensuring that his children had an education and an opportunity to better
themselves.
When Uncle
Augie spoke of his 4 sisters, he used words such as blessed, fortunate and
special. Never really having a mother, all four sisters helped raise him. He did
not know how unique it was that his sisters never fought, never argued and were
always kind. Looking back, he realized how blessed he was and how grateful he is
for having such loving sisters.
He shared a
story of one of his sisters dropping him on the stairs at the age of two,
leaving a dent on his head. Not having much money and not knowing any better,
they never took him in to the doctor. He believes that fall left him numb in
his left hand. He talked about not being able to feel the difference in coins
in his left pocket his entire life. Just as he had me convinced that he was a
victim, he deftly shared a story of himself catching a touchdown pass in a
varsity game for Drake University with that same left hand. He smiled and
shared his classic laugh as he wove together the tough parts of his life while
also highlighting the riches that many may overlook. He received a full ride
scholarship to Drake University, and as he said, “that saved my ass”. His
father did not have the money to afford Drake and that scholarship changed his
life’s trajectory.
Family
Uncle Augie
was quite reflective this morning over our meal. We shared 3 cups of coffee. He
had cream and I also added cream with sugar to mine. He talked a lot about our
family members, dead and present. He plainly stated, “we have a special family
with very nice people.” He talked about his first wife and how she died of
cancer in 2000. He then shared how he met his second wife, who was his high
school sweetheart, and how they rekindled their relationship at a high school
class reunion. She had recently passed away, but he recognizes how lucky he is
to have had two amazing wives in his life. He also noted that he was not
looking for a third. Again, he gave that closed-eyed chuckle as he amused
himself with his own quick quip.
Interruptions
Before we
had a chance to finish our meal, a gentleman wearing a red quarter-zip
approached our table and apologized for listening-in on our conversation. He
had not intended to, but the loud and measured tone of my Uncle Augie filled
every booth in the restaurant. The man wanted to come over and thank us for
making his day. This man was so impressed with Augie’s sharp mind and how well
he articulated his stories. He stated that he could not remember his own junior
high stories and he was 64. Great Uncle Augie replied that he was only 90 years
old himself. The gesture from this man took my me by surprise. I was so engaged
and mesmerized by our conversation; it simply reminded me how much history is
lost whenever someone dies.
As this man
left, a father and son approached who had been sitting behind us. They said, “God
Bless you” and that they were also grateful for hearing the stories shared in
our booth. He asked what our relationship was, and I barely choked out an
emotional “Great Uncle.” I wanted to say that he was my dear Grandma Elva’s
brother and how much she meant to me, but the tears were rolling down my
cheeks.
My Uncle Augie sits across from me now weighing 153 pounds, down from his fighting weight of 240. I see my beloved Grandma Elva in his face, his frail body, and his mannerisms. It reminds me of her impact on my life and her kindness and stubbornness within our interactions. What a blessing I received for a simple invitation to breakfast. This morning gave me an appreciation for what our older relatives have lived through and what they are living through now. The past was not always better, and the future is not always brighter. Living in the now and being present is more important than wishing for the past or dreaming of the future.
We decided
it was time to go as I needed to watch my kids tee off and he needed to get
back to yard work. I re-buckled him back into my car and dropped him off at his
house. I walked him back to his porch and wished him a great week. I hugged him
and told him that I loved him. I do not believe that I had ever said that to
him previously. It just felt right. This was a good day.
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